July is focused on getting Young People ready for the new school year!
Helping parents and grandparents get their children ready early removes the unknowns and helps children focus faster on learning.
For many children, going back to school isn't exciting—it's uncertain. While adults often focus on buying school supplies and organizing schedules, children are quietly asking themselves very different questions:
Will anyone like me?
Will I fit in?
What if I can't find my classroom?
Can I trust my teacher?
What if something bad happens and Mom or Dad isn't there?
For children, a new school year represents a major life transition. Their brains are wired to look for safety before they can focus on learning. When they feel secure, curiosity grows. When they feel threatened, anxiety often takes over.
Here are practical ways parents can help children build confidence before school begins.
Validate Their Feelings
Avoid saying:
"You'll be fine."
"There's nothing to worry about."
Instead try:
"I can understand why that feels a little scary. New things can make anyone nervous."
Validation tells children that emotions are normal—not something to hide or be ashamed of.
Walk Through the Unknown
Anxiety often comes from uncertainty.
Help reduce surprises by:
Visiting the school beforehand
Walking the route to their classroom
Finding the bathrooms, cafeteria, playground, and office
Looking at photos of teachers if available
Reviewing the daily schedule together
Every unknown that becomes familiar lowers the brain's threat response.
Practice Social Scenarios
Children often fear conversations more than schoolwork.
Role-play situations like:
Introducing themselves
Asking someone to play
Asking the teacher for help
Joining a group at lunch
What to do if they feel left out
Practice makes these situations feel familiar instead of frightening.
Create a Safety Plan
Children feel calmer when they know what to do if something goes wrong.
Discuss:
Who are the trusted adults?
What if you get lost?
What if you don't feel well?
What if another child is mean?
Where is the office?
How do you ask for help?
Confidence grows from having a plan.
Build Trust in New Adults
Rather than saying,
"Your teacher is in charge now."
Try:
"Your teacher's job is to help keep you safe, help you learn, and care for everyone in the classroom. If something worries you, they're someone you can talk to."
Children need permission to trust new adults.
Keep Goodbyes Short and Predictable
Long emotional departures often increase anxiety.
Instead:
Develop a special goodbye ritual
Give one hug
Say when you'll return
Leave confidently
Children borrow confidence from calm adults.
Give Them Something Familiar
Small comforts can help regulate emotions.
Examples include:
A family photo in their backpack
A handwritten note in their lunch
A bracelet that reminds them of home
A special keychain
A favorite pencil
These small reminders provide emotional security throughout the day.
My favorite is every year to decorate a binder or modge podge a pencil box with pictures of family and friends. When your child has a quick focal point available, anxiety is quickly gone!
Practice Calming Skills Before They're Needed
Teach simple techniques at home:
Slow belly breathing
Counting to five while breathing
Naming five things they can see
Progressive muscle relaxation
Positive self-talk
Examples:
"I can do hard things."
"I've made friends before."
"It's okay to feel nervous."
These skills become easier to use when they've already been practiced.
Focus on Courage, Not Fear
Instead of asking:
"Were you scared today?"
Ask:
"What was something brave you did?"
"Who made you smile?"
"What surprised you?"
"What did you learn about someone new?"
This gently trains the brain to notice positive experiences instead of only potential threats.
Be Patient with Big Emotions After School
Many children hold themselves together all day and then release their emotions at home.
If your child seems unusually emotional after school:
Offer a snack and water first.
Give them quiet time before asking lots of questions.
Listen more than you talk.
Let them process the day at their own pace.
Often, emotional outbursts after school are a sign that home is where they feel safest.
A Final Thought for Parents
Children don't need parents who remove every obstacle. They need parents who consistently communicate:
"You are safe. You are loved. You can handle hard things—and even when they feel difficult, you won't face them alone."
When children know they have a secure foundation at home, they are more willing to take healthy risks, meet new people, and grow through unfamiliar experiences. Every new school year becomes an opportunity to build resilience, confidence, and trust—one small brave step at a time.
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